《英汉汉英笔译1》作业 英语2103班 蒋一家

发布者:华晓霞发布时间:2024-01-22浏览次数:13

原文:

Improved human well-being is one of the greatest triumphs of the modern era. The age of plenty has also led to an unexpected global health crisis: 2 billion people are either overweight or obese. Developed countries have been especially susceptible to unhealthy weight gain. However, developing countries are now facing a similar crisis. Obesity rates have peaked in high income countries but are accelerating elsewhere. The combined findings of the World Health Organization and the World Bank showed that in 2016 Asia was home to half the world’s overweight children. One quarter were in Africa. This crisis will test the political resolve of governments that have focused on ending hunger. These governments must understand that the factors making cities convenient and productive also make their residents prone to obesity. Urbanites enjoy a variety of food. International fast food chains are flourishing in developing countries. The health risks of such diets are compounded by the sedentary lifestyles of urban dwellers. People’s leisure time is also being occupied by television, movies, and video games in the growing number of households.


译文:

民生的改善是现代社会最伟大的成就之一。而在这个物质富足的时代,人类也面临着无预料的全球健康危机:20亿人正面临着超重或肥胖的危险。尤其是在发达国家,人们更易受到非健康的体重增长的影响。相比较而言,发展中国家面临的危机较小。目前,肥胖率的增长已经在高收入国家达到顶峰其他国家也加速上升。世界健康组织和世界银行的综合研究表明:2016年,全球超过一半的超重儿童来自亚洲。四分之一来自非洲。这场危机将对各国政府致力解决消除饥饿的决心作出挑战。政府必须意识到:促进城市的便利和多产的因素同时导致了本国民众更易肥胖。城市人口有机会享受到多样的食物。国际化的快餐食物也在发展中国家收到欢迎,城市居民久坐不动的生活方式加剧了这种饮食的健康风险。在越来越多的家庭,人们的休息时间也总是电视、电影、视觉游戏所占据。


2020 was a difficult year for many reasons, including, of course, a global pandemic. In the year’s final days, my husband, our 17-year-old son, who loves to hike, and I had been cooped up at home for months. Over the summer, we had taken advantage of our unexpected time together, camping, hiking, and backpacking in California’s mountains. But winter found us housebound and feeling a bit trapped. Our annual pilgrimage to Joshua Tree National Park to stay with friends and “hike our guts out,” as I often put it, had been quashed by Northern California’s third lockdown. Like a caged coyote, I paced our little house in Davis, thinking I would lose my mind if I couldn’t do something to break up the tedium of sheltering in place in winter’s darkness.



2020年出于很多原因是艰难的一年,其中最主要的是全球疫情。那一年年末,我和我的丈夫,还有我那17岁喜欢远足的儿子都不得不待在家里几个月。整个夏天,我们充分利用了这段难得的时间,再加利福尼亚的山区中一起露营,远足和背包旅行。但是到了冬天我们被迫待在家里,感觉有点被困住了。我们每年的朝圣是去约书亚树公园,和朋友们待在一起,就像我常说的那样,远足到筋疲力尽。但是由于加州的第三条封锁令,我们被迫取消了这个计划。我就想一头被关在笼子里的郊狼,在我们位于戴维斯的小房子里来回踱步,心想如果我再不做些什么来打破这种在冬天的黑暗里躲藏在原地的单调乏味的生活,我一定会疯掉的。

译后反思报告


班级: 英语2103

姓名: 蒋一家

学号:202130502000197

第一篇

1.

学生译文:

民生的改善是现代社会最伟大的成就之一。而在这个物质富足的时代,人类也面临着无法预料的全球健康危机20亿人正面临着超重或肥胖的危险。尤其是在发达国家,人们更易受到非健康的体重增长的影响。

参考译文:

人类健康的改善是当今时代最伟大的成就之一。物质丰富的时代也带来一场意想不到的全球健康危机20亿人超重或肥胖。发达国家受这种不健康的体重增加的影响特别大。

翻译中出现的问题或是体现的英汉思维差异或其他需反思之处

  1. 漏译这里的“a” “一场不宜省略.一场健康危机是指下文将要提到的“肥胖危机”

  2. 语言重复“也面临着”和下一句“正面临着”略显累赘参考译文翻译为把第二句翻译成“20亿人超重或肥胖”更加简洁明了



2.

学生译文:

相比较而言,发展中国家面临的危机则较小。目前,肥胖率的增长已经在高收入国家达到顶峰,在其他国家也加速上升。世界健康组织和世界银行的综合研究表明:2016年,在全球超过一半的超重儿童来自亚洲。四分之一来自非洲。

参考译文:

然而,发展中国家现在正面临一场类似的危机。在高收入国家,肥胖率已经达到高峰但在其他地方,肥胖率正加速攀升。世界卫生组织和世界银行的联合调查结果显示,2016年,全球的超重儿童有一半在亚洲,四分之一在非洲。

翻译中出现的问题或是体现的英汉思维差异或其他需反思之处

  1. 理解错误原文表达意思应是肥胖率达到顶峰”而不是“肥胖率的增长”达到顶峰参考译文处理为肥胖率已经达到高峰

  2. 错译原文“half the world’s overweight children.并没有“超过”的意思是错误的参考译文“有一半在亚洲”


3.

学生译文:

这场危机将对各国政府致力解决消除饥饿的决心作出挑战。政府必须意识到:促进城市的便利和多产的因素,同时也导致了本国民众更易肥胖。城市人口有机会享受到多样的食物。

参考译文:

这场危机对于政府着力消除饥饿的政治决心,将会是个考验。这些政府必须明白,使城市变得便利和高效的因素也容易使城市居民罹患肥胖。都市人享受着各种美食选择。

翻译中出现的问题或是体现的英汉思维差异或其他需反思之处

1、词性转换:“This crisis will test”译为“做出挑战”是动词,参考译文翻译为“将会是个考验”是把“test”翻译为名词,更符合汉语表达习惯。

2选词:“多产”不宜形容城市,“高效”更适合。

3选词城市人口”——都市人”



























第二篇

4.

学生译文:

2020年是异常艰难的一年,原因有很多,当然包括全球疫情。截至年末,我的老公,我们喜欢远足的17岁的儿子和我已经被迫待在家里好几个月了。

参考译文:

2020年可谓不顺之年,原因很多,新冠疫情全球大流行当然位列其中。临近岁末,我和丈夫及我们同样喜欢徒步的 17 岁的儿子,已困在家中好几个月了。

翻译中出现的问题或是体现的英汉思维差异或其他需反思之处

  1. 选词异常艰难”——不顺”否定

  2. 表达习惯汉语表达把“我”放在前面我和我的丈夫”更符合表达习惯



5.

学生译文:

在夏天,我们利用这个来之不易的时间,在加利福尼亚的山区野营、远足、背包旅行。但是在冬天,疫情让我们待在家里,像被困住了一样。

参考译文:

整个夏天,我们充分利用意外的团聚时光,一起到加州的群山里露营、远足、背包旅行。但是,冬季却只能宅在家里,有点儿被囚禁的感觉。

翻译中出现的问题或是体现的英汉思维差异或其他需反思之处

1翻译腔在夏天”——夏天”同样的英文时间前的介词“inonover”翻译时都可以省略下文“在冬天”同理

2、“hike our guts out”当时时间不够没翻译出来,翻译成“走他个酣畅淋漓,哪怕把脚底走穿”。



6.

学生译文:

在约书亚树公园,我们每年可以和朋友待在一起并……也已经被加利福尼亚的北方地区禁止。我像一只被困的郊狼,在Davis家里来回踱步。要是还不能做点事来打破这冬日黑暗的单调乏味,我真的会疯掉。

参考译文:

一年一度的和友人一起到约书亚树公园朝圣远足的计划(我常说“去走他个酣畅淋漓,哪怕把脚底走穿”),因为加州北部第三次封控管理而被迫取消。我像一头囚笼里的郊狼,在我们戴维斯的小房子里踱来踱去,坐立不安,盘算着一定要做点儿什么来冲散这冬日阴郁中居家隔离的无聊,否则我会发疯的。

翻译中出现的问题或是体现的英汉思维差异或其他需反思之处

1翻译腔我的译文被困的郊狼“是被“caged coyote的被动语态所影响其实翻译成“囚笼里的狼”

2选词breakup打破”——冲散”


整体翻译速度偏慢对于不能确定的词过分纠结不懂得结合上下语境推断自己漏翻了一句


原文:

Behind Chinas New Botanical Garden

On April 18, 2022, the China National Botanical Garden officially opened its doors to the public — almost 80 years after it was first proposed. And while he didn’t live to see it happen, no one loomed larger over last month’s ceremony than Hu Xiansu, the man who spent his entire career trying to bring the garden to life.


Hu was born in 1894 in Nanchang, the capital of the central province of Jiangxi. His intellect stood out from an early age, winning him a coveted spot in an elite overseas exchange program. After graduating from the University of California, Berkeley in 1916 with a degree in Botany, Hu was named the vice-director of the Jiangxi Lushan Bureau of Forestry. Not long after, he became a professor of agricultural sciences at Southeast University in the eastern city of Nanjing, where he teamed with zoologist Bing Zhi to found the country’s first ever Department of Biology.


It was an impressive start to his academic career, but Hu wasn’t satisfied. In 1923, he returned to the United States for a Ph.D. program at Harvard University.Harvard boasted some of the world’s top botanists, a wealth of Chinese botanical specimens, and the world-renowned Arnold Arboretum. It was a goldmine for a researcher like Hu. Yet he could never quite stomach the idea that a Chinese scholar should have to travel to the other side of the world to study Chinese plants. In a 1925 poem, he called it “a disgrace to the nation that my heart can hardly bear.”


In 1926, not long after finishing his Ph.D., Hu set about rectifying the situation. Arguing that plants represented an important industrial and agricultural resource, he sought funds for the construction of a botanical garden in Nanjing. In support of his plan, he pointed out that world-changing plant products like rubber, tea, and cinchona all benefitted from studies conducted in botanical gardens.


But just when Hu’s idea seemed to be gaining steam, it was abandoned when the ruling Kuomintang regime launched a major military expedition that summer.Undeterred, Hu tried again in 1933, this time proposing a botanical garden in Lushan, near where he grew up. At the time, northern China was under threat of invasion by the Japanese, and Hu tried leveraging this fear to get his project built. At a meeting that year, he declared the Lushan facility would not just be a botanical garden: Should the Japanese invade, it would also serve as “a base to which (other research institutes) could be relocated.” Hu rallied support and funding for his plan on trips across China, and in August 1934, the Lushan Forest Botanical Garden — later renamed the Lushan Botanical Garden — was officially founded.Modeled after the Royal Botanic Gardens in Kew, England, the Lushan Forest Botanical Garden was a remarkable, if short-lived, success. Between 1934 and 1938, the Garden developed a seed exchange network with botanical research institutes in China and abroad, carried out investigations into Chinese botanical resources, and cultivated more than 3,100 species of plants.



新国家植物园背后的故事

2022418日,中国国家植物园正式向公众开放,这距离它首次提名已有大约80年了。尽管胡先骕无法亲眼见证这一切,但他仍然是上月这场仪式上最重要的一人,因为他奉献毕生事业将中国园林事业焕发新生

1894年,胡先骕出生于江西中部的省会城市——南昌。他从小智识过人也因此获得了海外精英交流项目的名额1916年,从加利福尼亚大学伯克利分校毕业并获得植物学学位后,胡先骕被任命为江西省庐山市森林局副局长。不久后,他受聘为国立南京高等师范学校农科专业植物学教授。在这里,他与动物学家秉志共同筹建了中国第一个科学社生物研究所。

这是胡先骕学术生涯的重要开端,但他并不止步于此。1923年,他回到美国哈佛大学攻读博士学位,这里拥有世界顶尖的植物学家丰富的中国植物标本以及世界闻名的阿诺德植物园对像胡先骕一样的人来说,这简直就是宝库。然而,他始终不能接受中国学者要去远赴世界另一端研究中国植物的事实,1925所作的一首诗中,他写道这是我内心难以承受的民族耻辱”。

1926年,获得博士学位后不久,他着手扭转当下局面。他认为植物是重要的工农业资源,因此他为在南京建设植物园筹集资金。为达成计划,他指出,像橡胶、茶、金鸡纳树这样能够改变世界的植物,都受益于植物园的研究。

那一年夏天,胡先骕的工作正步入正轨,当时的国民党政府却发动了一次大规模的军事远征,他被迫放弃该计划。胡先骕没有气馁,1933年,他再次尝试,这一次他提议在庐山建立一个植物园,这离他长大的地方不远。当时,中国北方正笼罩在日本的侵略威胁之下,胡先骕想利用这种恐惧来建设自己的植物园工程。在那年的一次会议上,他宣布:庐山研究所将不仅仅是一个植物园,如果日本入侵,它也可以作为其他研究机构的“转移要地”。胡先骕为他在中国的计划争取了支持和资金,并于19348月正式成立了庐山森林植物园,后改名为庐山植物园。庐山森林植物园以英国皇家植物园邱园为典范,虽建成时间不长,但也取得了非凡的成功。19341938年间,庐山森林植物园与国内外植物研究机构建立了种子交换网,对中国植物资源进行调查,并培育了3100多种植物。



Behind China’s New Botanical Garden


1Hu was born in 1894 in Nanchang, the capital of the central province of Jiangxi. His intellect stood out from an early age, winning him a coveted spot in an elite overseas exchange program.  

胡先骕1894年生于江西南昌。从小天资卓越,获得了令人艳羡的留学西洋的机会。

  1. 汉语综合与英语分析“江西南昌”与Nanchang, the capital of the central province of Jiangxi.体现了汉语综合与英语分析的特点。在描述地点时,汉语习惯先讲大地方,再讲小地方,例如这里的“江西南昌”,而英语则习惯先讲小地方,再讲大地方,例如这里的Nanchang, the capital of the central province of Jiangxi.

  2. 汉语主体、英语客体“从小天资卓越”与“His intellect stood out from an early age”体现了汉语主体、英语客体的特点。英语常用无生命的物体做主语,例如这里的His intellect按照英语原文,本应该翻译成他的才智,可是在翻译时,直接描述了这个人天资卓越。


2It was an impressive start to his academic career, but Hu wasn’t satisfied.

对他的职业生涯来说,这是一个很不错的开始,但胡先骕并不满足于此。

  1. 汉语重主题、英语重主语“对他的职业生涯来说,这是一个很不错的开始”与It was an impressive start to his academic career”体现了汉语重主题、英语重主语的特点。英语非常重视主语的存在,所以用了it来指代前面描述的事件,而汉语比较注重句子的主题;

  2. 汉语习惯多短句,英语多长句这句话也将It was an impressive start to his academic career一句话翻译成对他的职业生涯来说,这是一个很不错的开始,这体现了汉语习惯多短句,而英语习惯多长句的特点。


3In 1923, he returned to the United States for a Ph.D. program at Harvard University.

1923年,先骕第二次赴美留学,在哈佛大学攻读博士学位。

  1. 静态与动态:英语多静态(英语少用动词,用介词来表示动作意义的倾向,而汉语多用动词的固有形式。)原文英语介词for”翻译成汉语的“攻读”。


4Yet he could never quite stomach the idea that a Chinese scholar should have to travel to the other side of the world to study Chinese plants. In a 1925 poem, he called it “a disgrace to the nation that my heart can hardly bear.”

那时中国人想研究中国植物却要远赴异国他乡,胡先骕很不喜欢这个感觉。在1925年写的一首诗中,他称之为“此亦国耻心徒伤”。

  1. 汉语含蓄英语直接“那时中国人想研究中国植物却要远赴异国他乡,胡先骕很不喜欢这个感觉”与“Yet he could never quite stomach the idea that a Chinese scholar should have to travel to the other side of the world to study Chinese plants”体现了汉语含蓄与英语直接的特点。在发表对一件事的观点或者是情感时,英语习惯表态在前,叙事在后,汉语则相反。例如这一句的he could never quite stomach the idea而在翻译成汉语时,却将这句表明态度的句子往后移,先讲了事件,再表明了自己的态度。


5In 1926, not long after finishing his Ph.D..

1926年,胡先骕在获得博士学位后不久.

  1. 介词省略:in 1926——1926年,更加符合汉语习惯。


6In a 1925 poem, he called it “a disgrace to the nation that my heart can hardly bear.”

1925年写的一首诗中,他称之为“此亦国耻心徒伤”。


英语多形合,汉语多意合。英语原文使用了形合,将其表达为a disgrace to the nation that my heart can hardly bear”并运用了that”来引导定语从句,使得整个句子在语法结构上更加完整,更符合中文的表达习惯。



7Hu set about rectifying the situation. Arguing that plants represented an important industrial and agricultural resource, he sought funds for the construction of a botanical garden in Nanjing.

胡先骕认为植物是重要的工业和农业资源,因此积极寻求资金支持,打算在南京筹建植物园。

  1. 顺译法:当英语长句所表述的内容逻辑顺序和汉语一致时,可以直接按照原文顺序翻译。


8In support of his plan, he pointed out that world-changing plant products like rubber, tea, and cinchona all benefitted from studies conducted in botanical gardens.

他指出,改变世界的一些植物产品,如橡胶、茶叶、金鸡纳等,都得益于植物园方面的研究,以此来证明他的计划之重要性

  1. 长句/短句:汉语多短句,英语多长句。 原文是 译文翻译拆分成三个短句。符合汉语多短句的特点。


9But just when Hu’s idea seemed to be gaining steam, it was abandoned when the ruling Kuomintang regime launched a major military expedition that summer.

但是正当他的计划加速推进的时候,当时的国民党政府于当年夏天发起了一场大规模的军事行动,使得他的计划不得不终止

  1. 主动与被动:英语多被动,汉语多主动。原文was abandoned”译成“不得不终止。”


10Undeterred, Hu tried again in 1933, this time proposing a botanical garden in Lushan, near where he grew up. At the time, northern China was under threat of invasion by the Japanese, and Hu tried leveraging this fear to get his project built. At a meeting that year, he declared the Lushan facility would not just be a botanical garden: Should the Japanese invade, it would also serve as “a base to which (other research institutes) could be relocated.”

1933年,毫不气馁的胡先骕再次提出建设植物园的方案,只不过这次的选址是他家乡附近的庐山。彼时,中国北方已经笼罩在日本军国主义的威胁之下,胡先骕试图借助大家对这种威胁的恐惧来促成他的计划。同年的一次会议上,他宣称庐山植物园不仅是一个植物园:如果日本侵略中国,植物园可以为各个科研机构打下“将来的迁徙基础”


11Hu rallied support and funding for his plan on trips across China, and in August 1934, the Lushan Forest Botanical Garden — later renamed the Lushan Botanical Garden — was officially founded. Modeled after the Royal Botanic Gardens in Kew, England, the Lushan Forest Botanical Garden was a remarkable, if short-lived, success.

他跑遍中国,上上下下寻求支持和资金,终于在19348月,“庐山森林植物园”(后改名为庐山植物园)正式成立。庐山森林植物园以英国皇家植物园邱园为典范,虽然历时不长,但取得瞩目成绩。

  1. 顺译法:当英语长句所表述的内容逻辑顺序和汉语一致时,可以直接按照原文顺序翻译。

  2. 主动被动:汉语多主动,英语多被动。原文“was officially founded”,被译为“正式成立符合汉语表达习惯。


12Between 1934 and 1938, the Garden developed a seed exchange network with botanical research institutes in China and abroad, carried out investigations into Chinese botanical resources, and cultivated more than 3,100 species of plants.

19431938年期间,与国内外植物学研究机构建立了广泛的种子交换体系,开展了植物资源调查,收集、栽培植物3100余种。

 ⑪ 主语省略:在长句中,英语的每个短句都说明主语,汉语通常只出现一个主语,其余的省略。原文指明“the garden”,译文省略了主语,直接表述为19431938年期间,与国内外植物学……”