例1:在云与实施“小县大城”发展战略二十周年之际,云与县委宣传部打造剧情短片《云山志》。以此来讲述一段云与的故事。
译文:On the occasion of the 20th anniversary of the implementation of the development strategy of “small county and big city”, the Publicity Department of Yunhe County Party Committee produced a short film entitled Yunshan Chronicles to tell the story of Yunhe.
原文中小县大城的翻译为有些自相矛盾的“small county and big city”,会让观众不知所云。通过原文本分析,此处强调的是一个县城却有着一个城市的能力。因此,笔者认为应该点明逻辑与语义关系,将原译文改为更为恰当的“small county with big capacity”。
例2:近期,海外多个国家在入境政策方面又有新动作,已允许更多工作人员或旅客前往。小蓝盘点了一番,供大家参考。
译文:Recently, many overseas countries have new rules in their immigration policies, allowing more staff members and tourists to enter the country. We make a list of them for your reference.
此处原译中采用的“staff members”并不符合中文意义。“工作人员”并非指的是某个单位的工作人员,而是有公职或正规工作的人员。故此处译为“business-purpose visitors”更为合适。
例3:媒体融合系列节目《百年•外国人眼中的中国印象》于2021年7月1日同时在国内外的大屏幕与小屏幕上播出。
译文:The media convergence series 100 Years • The Impressions of China in Foreigners’ Eyes was broadcast simultaneously on both large and small screens at home and abroad from July 1, 2021.
译文貌似语句通顺、表达贴切,但是却存在时态错误。该节目是一个系列,第一部分是2021年7月1日开始播出的,但截止到发新闻时,还在继续播出。然而此处译文用了过去时“was broadcast”,表示这一事件已经结束,与实际情况不符。审校时,改为“has been broadcast”。
例4:(采访唱词)我先生是个很有想法的男生,觉得接亲的时候可以不用婚车。他骑着白马八抬大轿来娶我,想要宣传一下我们传统婚典文化。还有就是想给我一个不一样的婚礼。
译文:My husband is a very creative guy. When marrying me, he chooses to ride a white horse with a palanquin carrying me instead of driving a wedding car. He would like to do this to promote our traditional wedding culture and give me a different kind of wedding.
此处原文中“觉得接亲的时候可以不用婚车”,并非是结婚前的打算,而是结婚后对结婚过程的总结。因此,译文“When marrying me,”的时态运用表达不恰当,应当改为更加符合原文意义的“At our wedding,”。
例5:浙江小学生完美演绎《只此青绿》
译文:Zhejiang elementary school students performed “Only This Green” perfectly.
原文中提及的《只此青绿》,是著名的舞蹈诗剧,有其固定的译法。译者在此处进行直译很明显不符合英语的表述习惯,且丧失了原有的风味。此处,译者应查询相关信息,确认无误。此处的《只此青绿》应译为“The Journey of a Legendary Landscape Painting”,方能保留其神韵。
例6:非洲传统主食“西玛”在当地饮食文化中扮演着重要的作用。
译文:The traditional African staple food “xima” plays a significant role in the local culinary culture.
此处的“西玛”对于中国人而言较为陌生,应当对其进行查证。通过查证相关文献,“西玛”通常指的是 “Nshima”或“Sima”。这是马拉维、赞比亚、津巴布韦等非洲国家中常见的传统主食,但名称在不同地区可能会有一些变化,因此根据主人公Rose来自乌干达,需要查一下该食物在乌干达的常见称呼。
例7:熊猫妈妈用肚皮当摇篮哄娃变肉嘟嘟版“摇摇车”
译文:Mother panda uses her belly as a cradle to coax baby panda. Let’s see a chubby rocking car.
原文中表达的意思即熊猫妈妈把她自己的肚皮当做摇篮以哄熊猫宝宝开心。译文明显采用了直译的方法,并且将原文进行了拆译。其真实表达意思与原文一致,但其表述不符合英语逻辑。此处的译文应当调整句序,使其符合表述。审校时,改为“Mother panda rocks the baby panda on her belly, turning herself into a chubby kiddie ride.”,显得更为地道自然。
例8:为了更好地做强主题报道,提升全省各市地及外宣重点县的电视对外传播节目的创作能力,在4月25日举办的“‘八八战略’实施二十周年”浙江省国际传播大型融媒系列活动上,特别策划举办了第四届全省电视对外传播创新创优暨市县级融媒体传播能力建设培训班。
译文:To have better thematic coverage and more creative production of TV programs for international communication in key counties and municipalities in the province, the 4th Innovation and Optimization of TV Programs for International Communication and the Municipal and County-Level Media Convergence Communication Ability Construction Training Course was specially planned and held at the “20th Anniversary of the Implementation of the ‘Double-Eight Strategy’” International Media Convergence Campaign held on April 25th.
译者虽对原文的逻辑进行了调整,但其语言逻辑仍偏向中文的表达方式,并非地道英语表达。中文表达习惯常将核心信息置于句子末尾,然而,英文新闻报道文本中,习惯于等将核心信息放置于句首。因此审校后改为:The Fourth Training Session for Innovative and Excellent Television International Communication & Municipal and County-Level Media Convergence Capacity Building was held on April 25, as part of the international media convergence campaign to celebrate the “20th Anniversary of the Implementation of Double-Eight Strategy’”. The purpose of the training is to enhance thematic coverage and creative ability of TV international communication in cities and key counties of the province.
例9:2月21日晚至22日,旅美大熊猫#丫丫#话题长时间占据微博热搜榜第一的位置。丫丫究竟怎么了?
译文:From the evening of February 21st to the 22nd, the topic of the Chinese-American panda #YaYa# became a trending hashtag on the Weibo hot search list for a long time. What happened to Yaya?
此处的“丫丫”,不同渠道的新闻发布存在不同译文,有“Ya Ya”,“YaYa”“Yaya” “Ya-ya”。但此不一致性,会使得相关新闻显得不够专业,导致信息传达的不清晰或混淆。审校时,建议此处翻译参照官媒China Daily,统一采用Yaya,更为恰当。
例10:探讨世界杯商品的销售情况
译文:Discuss the Sales of the World Cup Merchandise
(XX商场)占中东市场零售食品总销售额的三分之一。
译文:Share one third of the total retail sales of groceries in the Middle East market
义乌每月向海外市场出口150个集装箱
译文:Monthly Export 150 CONTAINERS From Yiwu to Overseas
以上译文表述并未存在错误,但其最终呈现方式却影响观众观感。电视荧幕方寸之间,观众的注意力有限,采用格式不一的文本会导致观众产生抵触情绪,从而影响外宣文本传播。
例11:国际频道英语传播窗口TV NEWS女主播 某某人。
译文:***, female anchor of TV NEWS
笔者认为,此处应当删除 “female”。原因在于,性别在此并非关键信息,而且,一旦放在那里,反倒存在性别歧视之嫌,所以可以删去不必要的冗余信息。
例12:《奔跑吧•黄河篇2》举办“职业技能大赛”,兄弟团深入了解职业教育。
译文: “Running Together: Yellow River Chapter 2” held a “Professional Skills Competition,” and the brotherhood team gained a deep understanding of vocational education.
作为标题,原译文实在太长了,尤其是还包括了外国受众未必熟悉的内容,应该适当精简,突出主要信息。审校后,精简为:“Vocational Skills Competition held to learn more about vocational education”。
例13:一百对新人西湖断桥走红毯中式浪漫天花板。
译文:One hundred newly-weds walk the red carpet on Broken Bridge on the West Lake, which is the Chinese-style romantic ceiling.
译者在翻译“中式浪漫天花板”时,草草了事,直接照搬字面处理成“which is the Chinese-style romantic ceiling”,但这种说法在英语中会造成理解困难。原文描述一百对新人在西湖断桥上走红毯,是很罗曼蒂克的事情。审校后,改为:“One hundred newlyweds walk the red carpet on Broken Bridge on the West Lake, which tops the typical Chinese-style wedding”。如此,更准确反映了原文意义,译文显得更为地道自然。
例14:女生以高压线为弦 在行驶的列车上“弹吉他”
译文:A girl uses high-voltage wires as strings to "play the guitar" on a moving train.
译者未对原文仔细品读,直接将原文直译,但此处表达的意思却有所偏颇,即女孩并不是直接将高压线作为琴弦。因此,此处译者犯了常识性错误。错误的译文往往导致相差甚远的理解。因此,此处应在原文中加入“pretends to use”方能正确传达含义。
例15:8月29日,杭州机场开展亚运会集中抵离压力测试。自上午9时起,1小时内顺利保障由志愿者扮演的来自也门、马来西亚、印度三支模拟代表团的340名“运动员”入境。
AI译文:On August 29th, Hangzhou International Airport (HGH) successfully conducted a stress test during the peak hours of arrivals and departures (A/D) in preparation for the 19th Asian Games. Within less than an hour, starting from 9 o’clock in the morning, the airport efficiently managed the entry of 340 simulated “athletes” from Yemen, Malaysia, and India, who were portrayed by volunteers.
人工译文:On 29th August, Hangzhou International airport (HGH) conducted concentrated Arrivals & Departures (AND) stress tests in preparation for the 19th Asian Games. From 9 o’clock on the morning, the airport successfully ensured the “entry” of 340 “athletes” within an hour from Yemen, Malaysia, and India, who were simulated by volunteers.
通过比较人工译文与AI译文,AI翻译准确而恰当地运用了专业术语,其译文中的词汇与短语具备高度准确性,并且未出现与文本语境不符的情况。由此可见,AI目前在处理表达清晰、无隐藏含义的原文时表现出色,具备了高度的专业性。
例16:网友郑州站偶遇三高铁错车
AI译文:A netizen encounters three high-speed rail trains’ intersection in Zhengzhou Station.
人工译文:A netizen encounters three HSR trains passing each other in Zhengzhou Station.
原文中“错车”应当指的是汇车,不是车辆间的交叉,而是车辆擦肩而过。AI译文中使用的“intersection”并不恰当,应当采用人工译文中的“passing each other”。从此案例中,不难发现AI翻译具有局限性。中文是高语域语言,语言含义丰富,AI在翻译表达清晰且无深层含义的语言时,翻译结果尚可。但对于表述复杂的语言,则更多需要人工干预。